Good News and Bad News

First, quick update. I did the Intelligender urine test that determines the gender of your unborn baby based on the hormones in your body, and based on that, I'm having another boy! I really am happy with either a boy or a girl. Intelligender claims their tests to be 85-90% accurate, so we shall have to wait and see.

Anyway, now on to other news. The end of last week I had two doctor appointments, one turning out great and one turning out badly. First the good one. I had my monthly midwife appointment to check on me and baby. I had done an Olympic distance triathlon (1500 meter swim, 22 mile bike, and 10k run) the Saturday before and I hadn't been feeling very well ever since. I had been cramping on and off, but no spotting. My midwife did an ultrasound and I got to see my very active little baby! Baby was doing great! Baby had a super strong heart beat and was moving all over the place in my belly, a very good sign that all is well. Eve, my midwife, told me that when babies are in stress they don't move, so the fact that my baby was moving like crazy meant he or she is doing wonderfully. Yeah baby! On the other hand, the fact that I didn't feel good and had been cramping so much after my triathlon, meant that I need to back off on triathlons now. Doesn't mean I still can't work out, but I need to keep the intensity lower and listen to my body. If I don't feel well or start cramping I need to stop entirely. Otherwise, I was in good shape, so I could feel free to keep going, although I may want to consider just swimming and biking since it was just the run that made me feel badly in the triathlon. I'm okay with that, since lately I've been having some pain while running so I don't love running anyway. :)

Now on to the bad news. Later that day I finally went to the hospital to get the lumps in my breasts checked out on an ultrasound. I was supposed to do it a month ago, but I wasn't worried about it and I kept forgetting to set the appointment. Anyway, I went to the Breast Care Center and Jordan Valley Hospital so I would be working with the best in the business. My left one turned out to be nothing, but the lump on my right size turned out to be a fairly large mass (aka tumor). The radiologist/oncologist then came to double check the ultrasound and then to talk to me. He told me that based on the ultrasound images, my mass was showing signs of cancer. It could still be a benign mass, but since it had grown so much in the last few months (there was nothing there in February and now it's almost the size of a golf ball) I should get it removed either way. However, they need to do a biopsy first because if it is cancerous, the surgery is different than if it is not.

If the mass is cancerous, then they will remove a significant amount of surrounding tissue, and depending on how bad it is, they may need to do a full mastectomy. The fact that I'm pregnant makes it much more difficult to deal with. The pregnancy hormones actually can cause the cancer growth to speed up, and even if they remove just the mass and surrounding tissues, they normally would like to treat with radiation or chemo to make sure they got it all. However, those treatments are not an option during pregnancy, so they often look at a full mastectomy as the safest option to make sure they got all of the cancer. Although, it could be possible to just do a lumpectomy and watch me closely, then deliver the baby early and then immediately start radiation or chemo treatments. Either way, none of those options sound good to me.

If the mass is not cancerous, they would still like me to consider surgery while I am pregnant due to its size, location, and fast growing qualities. He said they can still safely remove the mass while I'm pregnant, but my pregnancy will limit them on how they do the surgery and which drugs they use. My midwife also talked to me and told me this is probably the best idea for me if it's not cancerous.

Once you take the whole cancer thing out of it, it's still a sad thing for me because this is going to make it very difficult, if not impossible, for me to breast feed. I know that's not important to some people, but it's very important to me. I'm not saying anyone is bad if they don't breast feed, just that I really want to breast feed. If nothing else, Ryker never could really stomach any kind of formula well, so breast milk was his best choice. Unfortunately, based on the masses location and size, it's going to be next to impossible for me to breast feed on my right side. The biopsy alone is likely to damage it enough for me to not be able to breast feed, let alone the surgery. Then when you take into account that it's already blocking milk ducts, its pretty a for sure thing I won't be able to breast feed on the right side. I still might have a chance with my left side, but if I have to go through radiation or chemo, then that will be totally out of the question. And that scares me even more because if I'm going through treatments, that means I will have a premature baby, when breast milk is even more important. So, if any of you breast feeding new moms, or soon to be new moms, out there have any extra milk you want to freeze for me, I would really appreciate it! Hopefully I won't need it, but if I do need it, I'll REALLY need it.

Anyway, I have my biopsy in a few days. Then from there it takes a week to get the results back (you'd think cancer results would come back sooner, but no, they don't). And then from the results they will schedule me for some kind of surgery. We're keeping our fingers crossed and prayers in the air that all goes well and that me and baby will be totally fine. Hopefully this is just a little lump in the road.