5 Months

As of yesterday Ryker is officially 5 months old. I can't believe it! It's fun to see his personality coming out more and more each day. He loves to talk, read books with mommy and daddy, blow spit bubbles, and he thinks it's pretty funny when mommy or daddy burps (so like a boy!). Every evening when Adam comes home from work or school Ryker talks up a little storm. It's like he's trying to tell his daddy all about his day. And every morning when I get him up he's super talkative too, like he wants to tell me all about his dreams. It's so cute!

Lately as he lays on the floor (he prefers his back to his tummy, but we still make him do both even though he won't stay on his tummy long before he rolls himself onto his back) he likes to watch the dogs. It's like he's recently discovered these big furry animals and he thinks they are fascinating. The dogs have started to pay more attention to him too, occasionally sniffing him. And of course Shady is always very concerned any time he cries. She always looks at me so intently until I help Ryker stop crying. Shady is such the nurturer.

Another milestone that happened on Ryker's 5 month birthday is that I participated in my first ever triathlon. It was at Daybreak at 8:30 in the morning and it was freezing! Last I checked the weather on my phone before we started it said it was 47 degrees outside. I don't know for sure what the water temperature of the lake was, but I heard it was 55 to 56 degrees. If you're not familiar with water temperatures, let me assure you, that is VERY cold!

So I was super nervous about my first tri. I had a hard time eating the day before and my stomach was doing flip flops. I only swam in the open water once a couple of days before (normally I train in a pool, which is quite different than open water) and I really wasn't used to swimming in a wetsuit. Plus, the bike course was 6 miles uphill, and I'm not the greatest at uphills. The only good thing about that though is that means it was 6 miles downhill on the way back, and I rock at downhills. Most people take it easy on the downhill, using it as a chance to rest, but not me. That's when I push it. There where 4 women that passed me on the uphill, but then I passed them on the downhill and they never caught up to me on the run.

Ahhh the run. I am not a great runner. Never have been, probably never will be. However, I was lucky enough to have a girl from my triathlon class, Michelle, find me on the run and run with me the whole 5k. Michelle is a faster runner than me so I pushed myself hard to keep up with her, and somehow I managed to keep up with her all the way to the end. And thanks to the good pace we kept on the run, I actually took 3rd place in my division! Crazy!

My goal when I first set out to do a triathlon was just to finish it and not to come in last place. Then my goal became to finish it and do it under 2 hours. I never thought I could even come close to placing, so you can imagine my surprise when I not only finished under 2 hours, but also finished 3rd. I'm totally thrilled! And now I'm that much more motivated to work harder and do better at my next triathlon.

Another milestone that happened at Ryker's 5 month birthday is that I officially have lost 60 pounds since he was born. So as you can see, it's been an interesting 5 months. My baby is getting so big, and strong, and bright, and accomplishing all kinds of things. I completed a triathlon and lost a bunch of weight (although I still have more to go before I reach my final weight loss goal. Too bad I gained 50 pounds in pregnancy). I'm excited to see what will happen in the next 5 months!

Motherhood

Exactly one year ago today I found out I was pregnant. I don't know that I can adequately describe how I felt, but I'm going to try. After two and a half years of not being able to get pregnant, I had almost given up. I had spent so much time worrying that I would never be a mother, so much money trying to be a mother, and so many tears shed when each month I still wasn't pregnant. Only those who have struggled to get pregnant truly understand how that feels.

And then one year ago, after a few days of feeling like I had the flu I felt inspired to take a pregnancy test. I remember arguing with this inspiration in my mind. I had sworn off pregnancy tests because I was sick of the 2 minutes waiting that felt like an eternity. Wanting to hope, but afraid to because I didn't want to be let down again. But this time, it was different. This time, I think I knew before I ever peed on the stick that it would be different. It was like Heavenly Father was gently reassuring me that it would all be okay. That it was finally my turn. And it was.

Now I have the greatest gift I could have ever been given, my beautiful baby boy Ryker. I love every day that I get to be his mom. I am so grateful and amazed that Heavenly Father would trust me with the rearing of such a wonderful spirit. And this mother's day that passed last week was the first mother's day since being married that I was not depressed. I was so grateful I was finally a mother, but at the same time I felt sad for my friends and family going through the hopes and disappointments of trying to get pregnant. All I can say is, hang in there, it's worth it. One day you will have your chance of being a mother, whether through your pregnancy or someone else's, it will happen. I know I would go through the pain all over again if I had to.

And now I am going to post this beautiful little thing about motherhood that I stole from my friend Angee's blog. I get choked up every time I read it, but I think it wonderfully sums up how I now feel being a mother.

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn’t want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn’t know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

Edward Scissors Baby & School

So a couple of nights ago Ryker woke up at 1:30am (which he does almost every night still) and ate his milk like normal. When he was finished I left his room for him to go back to sleep, which he normally does just fine. A few minutes later he started to cry so I went back in there to check on him because he usually just goes back to sleep without any crying. As soon as he saw me he let out an excited baby squeal and then started kicking and smiling and being very excited. He had decided it was time to play at 1:30 in the morning and he was so very happy that I had come to play with him (NOT!). So even though he was very adorable and I was actually tempted for half a second to play with him, I was extremely tired. So I gave him his binkie and left the room. He then proceeded to cry for 20 minutes before he finally went back to sleep. When I got him in the morning I saw that the poor kid had scratched himself all over! He looked like Edward Scissor Baby! He scratched his nose and all over his forehead. That explains why his cries just got madder and madder before finally tapering off. Normally he doesn't get that mad at night. So I promptly clipped his nails in the morning (like I do every other day, but apparently I missed a day with how sharp they were). Here's a picture of his cut up head, but it's blurry because I couldn't get him to hold still long enough. He's a very wiggly baby! And as you'll see in the second picture, he was still happy boy in the morning.



On a totally different note, Adam got his grades back from last semester at school, and he did really well! Now keep in mind we had a brand new baby and he was working full time. Plus in the last month of the semester he started a brand new job. The poor guy was living on a few hours of sleep at night the whole semester. And he got (drum roll please............) straight A's! Go Adam!

4 Months Old

Ryker is officially 4 months old (well he was 2 days ago, but I’m a little late posting)! He is such a happy baby! He’s constantly smiling or giggling and he’s even started playing with us. He loves to eat his hands and recently he has started drooling a lot. For the most part he’s an okay sleeper, but he still gets up once in the middle of the night around 2am and then again at 6am, but then goes back to sleep for two or three hours. He still loves to cuddle. He reaches for things all the time; his toys, mommy’s hair, the dogs, anything that looks interesting. He’s starting to accept tummy time a little better and rolls over most days from his tummy to his back. He holds his head up no problem (although he’s been doing that for a while now) and he’s starting to do better about holding himself up while sitting up. He also LOVES to stand up. Half the time when I try to get him to sit down he will not bend his legs because he wants to stand. He’s already stubborn. :)

Ryker had his 4 month appointment on his 4 month birthday (the 29th) and he weighed 12 pounds 9 ounces (10 percentile) and was 24 inches long (25 percentile). Even though he’s small for his age, the doctor said he is way above average on his strength (I could have told him that). The Doc compared his strength to that of a 6 month old. Go my strong baby! And yeah, he’s growing well! One nice thing about him being little is that he does still fit well in clothes 0 to 3 months and size 1 diapers. That’s okay with me though, I love having a tiny baby! It’s so fun!

Here are a few fun stories from this month:

Happy Dancing Baby!
On Sunday April 25th Ryker was sitting on Adam’s lap in Sunday School. Adam was making funny faces at him at Ryker was getting excited and smiling back and him. Then all of a sudden Ryker started doing a little baby dance (holding his arms out to the side and rocking back and forth) with a huge grin on his face. It was so hilarious Adam and I started laughing at him. He would stop and watch us, wait for us to finish laughing, and then do his happy baby dance again. He kept doing it over and over again, which had Adam and I laughing hysterically and totally disrupting Sunday School. It was worth it though, it was one of the funniest things I’ve seen!

Play Time Fun
Ryker has started playing with us. Earlier this week I was playing like I was eating his tummy and he would smile at me. Then all of a sudden he grabs a big handful of my hair and yanks it. I look at him and say something like, “Hey, that’s mommy’s hair,” and he starts giggling at me mischievously. Yes, he is definitely Adam’s son! Already teasing me!

The next day I was playing with him again like I was eating his tummy and then he shoves his little hand in my mouth, which I assumed meant he wanted me to eat that too, so I pretended to eat his hand, which of course he thought was hilarious and he started giggling at me again.

Then today I was playing peek-a-boo with him. He was sitting in his car seat, which was on the kitchen table and I would duck down beneath the table where he couldn’t see me, then pop back up and say boo. Every time I did this he would laugh. It was awesome.

Good Baby at the Zoo
Not too much to this story, just that on Tuesday of this past week Adam, Ryker, and I went to Hogle Zoo for the first time as a family. Ryker mostly slept the whole time in his car seat/stroller and when he did wake up he just sat there smiling up at us. Then afterward we went out to dinner and he was totally a happy kid the whole time, just chilling in his car seat smiling and cooing and baby talking to us. Ryker is the best!

So all of these fun little stories made me realize something, I would pretty much do anything to hear my baby laugh! He has the cutest little giggle and laugh in the whole world as far as I’m concerned. He’s so easy to get to smile. I love having a happy baby! I’m excited for the little milestones he’ll accomplish this next month!